Officially one week to Christmas Day🎄, and just Officially one week to Christmas Day🎄, and just look at one of our photos from our Christmas mini-photo session! (yay!🥳) I want to take this opportunity to share an update about a family friend whom I had recently shared had been diagnosed with various forms of cancer. After some aggressive surgeries, it turns out she'd probably have about a year (max) left to live. Unfortunately, she learned this week that it might really be only a few weeks, rather than the year. . If I was told I'd have a year left, or a few weeks left to live, I would then only look back at all my regrets... Some would be: how I didn't lead the healthier lifestyle, how I didn't take bigger risks to achieve the dreams I desired, or perhaps how I simply didn't read more books aloud to my daughter. But the single biggest regret I'd have is that I never did manage to find strategies to manage my emotions🤯 in difficult situations. . 2020 has been a year where I found myself so angry 🤬😡and so worked up about so many things. I've never found myself so upset over so many things that I could not change and that I had no control over. I let so many of these situations affect my physical and mental health 😭and it ... ate me away. 💔 . Instead of waiting until January 1st to make that declaration to the world 🌎 that I'm going to not sweat the small trivial shit 💩 , I'm going to start today. I am going to live with the possibility that I learn that I have only a few weeks left to live. I think this may really change the perspective in how I lead my life, and some things are just not worth me getting all worked up about💓 • • #wakeupcall #reflections #singleparent #singleparentlife #singledad #selflovejourney #grievingprocess
Why bring a young toddler to high tea? I’ve read Why bring a young toddler to high tea? I’ve read that it’s one of the best experiences recommended for kids to practice “grown up” manners, especially those 7 and up. I wanted to bring Nanette to such an experience to see if she could last an hour or so at a table with china and fancy food, and she did! Aside from the two shrilly shrieks she made when I tried to take the tea bag she was playing with away, and that she only ate one thing (her macaron and mine), I thought it was an overall enjoyable experience, especially with the gorgeous view of the blue waters of Lake Louise. I am looking forward to more ‘High Teas’ in the future. Location: @fairview_bar @fairmontcll #singledaddybychoice #hightea #fairmontlakelouise #highteatime #highteaparty
October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Mon October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. I’ve been relatively open with sharing my experiences of both loss and joy, in the pursuit of parenthood. As a single male, I have experienced both early and late term pregnancy loss via surrogacy. This is what has helped me grow as an individual and a support person for surrogates and intended parents through my consultancy, @proudfertility. Having gone through this, I feel the pain of loss for both the surrogates and the intended parents I work with on a much a deeper level. . . The path to parenthood is not always immediate, but I want everyone to know that I support you through your grief, and also through your happiness and joyful times. While every day is a new day with my rainbow baby, Nanette, I still remember the ones that I have lost and grieve them. It does not mean that I forget the losses I have faced in the past, but it only makes me feel more grateful for the light she brings into my world. #rainbowbaby #pregnancyloss #intendedparent #singledaddybychoice #singledad
These naturally eroded land formations called Hood These naturally eroded land formations called Hoodoos are mysterious and magical. And there’s something eerily similar to surrogacy, because exactly three years ago today, our surrogate had an embryo transfer. After taking medications that help trick her body into thinking she’s supposed to be pregnant, then a very small embryo was released into her uterus, the medications makes her uterine lining thick and fluffy, making it a good home, and it magically stuck! Thanks to our surrogate’s commitment, that was the embryo transfer that led Nanette to her Daddy! #embryotransferday #embryotransferanniversary #hoodoos #prouddad #singledaddybychoice
Feeling overwhelmed, I’ve been hanging out with Feeling overwhelmed, I’ve been hanging out with a lot of couples, and everything seems so rosy with them. I’ve noticed I have even felt jealous. Why don’t I have a partner? The thing is I’ve had partners before, and it did not work. I would rather have no partner than being with someone who I don’t want to be with. I mean, it’s nice to have someone around. But in my case, I have felt more alone with someone than when I’m by myself. This helps me appreciate even more about being a parent - the unconditional love we feel for each other is like no other. Here’s to a happy weekend from me and this hyper munchkin who is fully in her terrible-twos...
How do you not take things personally? In my line How do you not take things personally? In my line of work as a surrogacy agency owner, and as a single dad by choice, I am on the receiving end of a lot of unkind and negative comments. And it has slowly broken me down until I got a long-winded hate letter and a death threat in February that left me speechless. It was after this letter from a set of unsuccessful intended parents, that I realized I ultimately needed to continue mastering my skill of not taking things personally. As disturbing as this hate letter was, I worked on helping myself understand why we as humans take things personally… we feel all sorts of feelings like hurt, neglect, offence, and betrayal by the other one. But really, that’s what we just believe though - “it’s the other person’s fault.” And we think it’s the other’s responsibility for what we feel and we blame the other person. But the person who thinks this has a real big ego. Our ego thinks that others should take us into consideration, and that we don’t want to be criticized, and most of all, our ego wants validation and acknowledgement. When I allow my ego to take over, it’s an impossible fight to win and it drains my energy. Did you know that we as humans have over 50,000 thoughts per day? And yet, only 10,000 of them are positive! It means 80% of the time, we think negative thoughts already. When you master the skill to not take things personally, you become free and remove the power that someone has had over you. In all that I do in work, and in the role that I play as a father, as a friend, as a mentor, as an employer, I am always mindful that we need to employ empathy in the way we think, speak and act. If you struggle with not taking things personally like me, I want you to remember that you will always keep your value.   To the unhappy and unsuccessful intended parents who wrote that incredibly unkind hate mail to me, or to the trolls who have written all sorts of mean comments, and to all the other situations where I took offence to one of your actions; thank you for giving me this opportunity to grow. #leadership #mindfulness #empowerment #inspiration #personaldevelopment
Yesterday evening, I spent about four hours consol Yesterday evening, I spent about four hours consoling a dear friend whose marriage is likely ending. Both of our emotions were all over the place. I know if this friend comes across my post this morning, she will not be the least offended with one of the comments I made last night, “Thank goodness I don’t have to deal with that shit in my life!” For what it’s worth, I gave her some advice (ya know, because I’m super successful at relationships myself LOL): I told her she needed to do what she felt was best that honoured self-respect. The “end” of any relationship be it a life-partner, or a friend is hard. I hope one day this little doll of mine will grow up to be a strong woman. I hope she will remember Daddy’s teaching of ‘self-respect’ and use it as an anchor in navigating her life’s inevitable adversities. #strongwomen #daddydaughter #singledaddybychoice #raisingdaughtersright #raisingdaughters #raisingdaughterswithconfidence #raisingdaughterswithselfworth
Today, I have had another true revelation - I am a Today, I have had another true revelation - I am a winner. Part of being a winner is knowing when enough is enough. And I found a way to resolve an issue that I have been struggling with for so many months. Now I am looking forward to moving onto something more productive, less toxic and change my focus to anything (or anyone) else that can bring me a little more joy... let's start with this tiny human whom I've been gifted, who sadly no longer looks like this (this picture was taken two years ago!) I remember a quote I came across several months ago, "Happiness comes in waves, and it'll find you again." ... I think it just found me. #enoughisenough #lifeisprecious #selflove
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