5 Rebuttals to “Where is the Mom”?

People make assumptions. I get it. It’s part of life. But I can’t tell you how many times curious or nosy strangers assume the person sitting next to me is my partner. I can also guarantee the inevitable glare and repeated questions from customs officers when I present Nanette and myself at their transparent glass booths.

“No there is no mother, it just us”, over and over again. Here are some of the more memorable rebuttals I have come up with on the fly over the last two years when people ask, “Where’s is the mom?”

  • I avoided that hassle. 

I was at a hotel with Nanette and decided to grab a bite to eat in their restaurant. The server saw us together and in a mousey voice said, “Oh look at you, such a good daddy, you’re so sweet letting your wife get some rest”. I looked at up at them and said, without blinking, “Wife?- Oh no, I avoided that hassle”.   

  • Oh no, where did she go!

I’m getting into an UBER and loading several bags in the truck. Once I got Nanette into her car seat, buckled myself up, and shut the door, I thoughts we would be on our way. The driver just sat there and I was like, “I’m actually in a hurry, can we get going?” He was all like, “But what about the wife?”. I did a double-take and in faux panic mode said, “Oh no, where did she go!?” Eventually, he got the hint. 

  • She left me for another man.

This one time, I was at a restaurant, and the waiter sat Nanette and I at a table for four. No big deal. I just asked them to remove the other seats. They ended up only taking away one of the chairs and cutlery, leaving me to face an empty place setting. I told them I couldn’t bear the emptiness, as my ex had left me for another man. 

  • You’re looking at her!

There have been so many times when I was in a rush shopping and Nanette was getting cranky and I just had to shut it down when a sales clerk asked,  “And where’s your mommy!”. Taking the clothing bag from them, I made direct eye contact, shot them a wink and a sarcastic grin and said, “You’re looking at her”. Their face made several different types of contortion. ​​

I’ve had to become use to these intrusive comments and questions over the past two years. I hope one day society will not just be so shocked seeing a man with a child. That we will collectively just “get it” since there are more and more visible single dads out there like Perez Hilton and talk show host Andy Cohen

What other rebuttals do you think I can get away with?