Newton Teen-Chi Chan turned out completely fine - Newton Teen-Chi Chan turned out completely fine - born May 29th, despite some rather serious concerns. I was quite worried but I couldn’t be more grateful for the fact that all the ultrasounds were wrong (thank God!). He came in at 6 lbs 7oz (38th percentile). We had expected him to be a ‘fragile’ baby, measuring at the 2nd percentile, who had stopped growing for the past three weeks and we were told we needed him out ASAP . Even the paediatrician who was asked to be there at surgery said this was such a pleasant surprise. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 I am so grateful to our family, our wonderful egg donor and our incredible surrogate. I couldn’t have done this without you. Thank you also to your wonderful families who supported you in this journey to grow my family and who selflessly sacrificed along with you. I am grateful to God for being my ever present help during this time and for bringing my baby boy safely into this world despite all the fears and uncertainty. God is good. "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” - Isaiah 41:10 So this adventure begins... 💙 @proudfertility @proudeggdonation @pridesurrogacy @singledaddybychoice
When time stands still. I’m not sure there coul When time stands still. I’m not sure there could ever be a greater day in your life, than the day you first hold your child. Literally nothing else matters in that moment. Not work, not stress, not the honey-do list, nothing except being there and being present. Feeling their warm, tiny bodies cuddled against you. The sounds of their fragile exhales. The rise and fall of their little chests. The tiniest of heartbeats. For years I struggled in my fertility journey to get here. Being a single parent and a man made this even harder. I investigated every avenue. So many harsh doors shut in my face. Until I found out about surrogacy and egg donation. They were the lights to my path and gave me hope to finally becoming a dad. This journey hasn’t been an easy one. There have been failed retrievals, failed embryo transfers, and miscarriages. The women who were my egg donors and surrogate angels continued to give me hope despite all the obstacles and setbacks. Holding my precious child, the gift of parenthood, is the best moment of my life. It will always be part of the bigger story of the sacrifice and gift of egg donation and surrogacy. Nanette is now three and not a day goes by that I don’t think on this. Thank you to the wonderful woman who blessed us on our path. I am eternally grateful and humbled. 🌈 💝
Moments. There are some you never forget. Even w Moments. There are some you never forget. Even without the picture, this moment is perfectly captured and framed in my memory. My surrogate angel and I were waiting for the elevator so I could go meet my daughter for the first time. I don’t think I have ever waited for what felt like the longest time for an elevator. I could hear my heartbeat in my chest, the slow and steady tic of the clock on the wall, the white noise of hospital beds rolling, nurses, doctors and patients walking about in the background. The night before, my surrogate went into labour and had an emergency c-section. I missed the last flight out. You know when Kevin’s mom on Home Alone is at the airport bartering strangers for their tickets to get home to him, well you know a little bit how I felt racing to the airport that night. I would’ve moved mountains to be there but alas, no plane could take me until the next morning. You can bet your dollar I was on the earliest redeye the next day. So here we were, waiting for the slowest elevator in existence, about to share in an even bigger moment: Meeting Nanette and holding her for the first time. The day my life changed forever. The day I received the greatest gift from this woman, now a friend, previously a stranger. The day I held my heart outside of my body and vowed to protect it all my days. 💕 I’ve never been so grateful to another human being until that day. My surrogate angel gave me the gift of fatherhood. Furthermore, she inspired me to become the owner of an agency to help others just like me, who are experiencing infertility and trying to build their families. Thank you could never be enough but thank you. Thank you to all the women who helped me. I’m grateful for the tears, the miscarriages, the loss, the endurance, the fight, the grace, the gift of creating a life, and ultimately the gift of finally holding my daughter in my arms. 🌈 🎁 💝
Today we celebrate 🎉 Nanette’s 3rd birthday! Today we celebrate 🎉 Nanette’s 3rd birthday! It is a day filled with so much joy and pride. The day my dreams of becoming a daddy came true. It has been the biggest blessing of my life to be a parent. Words cannot express my gratitude and love for this tiny, beautiful, bright, and sweet girl. Today is also filled with gratitude towards others in my life and sadly for those no longer in my life but still in my heart. My mom, who loves Nanette more than anything and is always there for us and my late Gramma, who sadly departed this place earlier this week on Mother’s Day. There has been a deep grief in losing someone who has always supported, encouraged and believed in me, especially in my faith. I’ve been processing a lot of deep things this week and being reminded of my blessings and to take nothing for granted. I know I don’t speak a lot about my faith, but I am so grateful for the legacy of faith my Gramma left us with. Isaiah 30:21 - “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”” I have such a strong sense that God has always been watching over me, and guiding me as a parent. I know a lot of that assurance is due to the faithfulness of my Gramma, who would pray everyday for Nanette and for me. Nanette is literally flourishing because this deep, loving, and faith-filled community we are so fortunate to have. I know that God will continue to watch over me, helping me to be the best dad I can be and that my Gramma’s wisdom and love will always be with me, giving me strength to carryon and face life’s trials. Take nothing and no relationship for granted. Those people who love and support us impact us in ways we don’t even realize. My heart is heavy but it’s also lifted knowing how truly blessed I am to have the gift of fatherhood and to have the community and love I do in our lives. Happy Birthday my sweet Nanette, your Daddy loves you more than you’ll ever know and I will pray for you and do my best to share the faith and grace of my Gramma with you. @sweetmaniacyyc Thank you for such a great cake! ❤️❤️❤️
Contentment comes from the realization that you ar Contentment comes from the realization that you are exactly where you are meant to be. Truly content people are not seeking the next thing, the greener grass, to be somewhere else or be someone else. At 36 years of age, I never for one second imagined I’d be the father of a 2 year old toddler. In my perfect 25 year old dream I would have had a much older child by now. My journey to fatherhood may have taken 8 years longer than expected, with multiple surrogates, egg donors, embryo transfers, miscarriages and even a still birth, but here I am, 36, father to one vivacious 2 year old. And loving every second of it. I love the simplicity our days bring. Watching her grow, discover new talents, develop and gain expression over so many emotions. Seeing her interact and create relationships with our friends and loved ones, including my mom who has such a special relationship with Nanette. She is learning and blossoming daily before my eyes. The littlest things, the simplest moments seem to bring the greatest satisfaction. A simple life is truly is content life. And I am exactly where I am meant to be. Simplicity is also just having a couple simple cupcakes 🍰 , red velvet in particular, not that I’m being particular, and for once, eating and enjoying every second of that cream cheese frosting melting in my mouth. Thank you @Cravecupcakes for creating this simple, pure moment of joy for us together. Excuse us while we don’t go and lick the plate clean.
Traditions are those symbolic activities, events, Traditions are those symbolic activities, events, and rituals that carry special significance to us. Family traditions help us to develop deeper bonds, create connection, inspire our identities, and establish our collective values. They are especially important to children as they help their self-esteem, sense of well-being, form their identity and solidify family belonging. Traditions are also just down right fun and give us something to look forward to! We may not look on the outside like a “traditional” family, but we love creating our own traditions! Maybe you don’t fit the “nuclear” family picture either, but that doesn’t mean you can’t carve out your own significant family identity and create lasting memories to celebrate. One of Daddy’s favourite traditions happens to fall every year on the same date, my birthday 🎂 . I could make eggs and bacon at home sure, and maybe one day Nanette will treat Daddy to breakfast in bed but there is nothing like a delicious breakfast out to treat yourself. So it is off to Denny’s we go for a stack of pancakes 🥞 , grand slams and everything else lip-smacking good! I do this every year, it’s our little tradition to celebrate my birthday and I love the bonding time it brings. It doesn’t hurt that pancakes happen to be this little one’s favourite food too. What special traditions do you cherish with your family? Have you created new ones or do you hold onto long held passed down for generations ones? One of the best ways to create a new tradition is to just sit down, decide on your special dates and pick something you love to do and do it! Maybe that is breakfast out like me, ice cream and a movie, or a walk at your favourite park with a your favourite latte in hand. Do it for yourself, do it together, and stick to it. If the tradition doesn’t serve you anymore, it’s never too late to choose something new and afresh. If your kiddo is already five or older, don’t worry, just start! Maybe even they can help plan the traditions with you! What do they want to do on the last day of school before summer? Slurpee day, ice cream 🍦, swimming 🏊‍♀️ ? Building those memories together are priceless.
Who else loves babywearing? It has been a while f Who else loves babywearing? It has been a while for us but did you know the womb effect actually lasts 18 months? 9 months inside and 9 months outside? While I wasn’t able to carry Nanette for the first 9 months, for obvious reasons, thank you to our angel surrogate who did, babywearing allowed me to carry her for the next 9. Some of the benefits of babywearing include: -Increased regulation. -Increased attachment. -Reduced colic and crying. -Enhanced learning. -Earlier language development. -Promotes cognitive development. -More involved and observant children. -Increased bonding. -Easier, practical and makes life more organized for busy parents! Something that people often ask me regarding surrogacy, is whether the new parents feel bonded to their child? And will the baby feel bonded to their parents? Babywearing is probably my number one recommendation for increasing that incredible attachment on both sides. Along with skin to skin time, it did nothing but further the bond I had with her and her to me. Other things we did included recordings for her while she was in her surro-mom’s tummy, check out Belly Buds, her surrogate mother played music for her that I listen to at home, phone calls, and visits to hear my voice. I was part of as much of the journey as I could be without being overbearing on my wonderful surrogate. There are many things you can do to be bonded and create that deep sense of attachment with your children, however your journey looks. I love looking back at pictures like this. Nanette is more of a walk, run and find my own way type of girl now. She enjoys wagon rides and going on adventures. One of the gifts of strongly attached children is it actually gives them the courage to be brave and independent as they grow. It is an incredible inverse relationship. Invest and nurture them while they are young and fragile and watch how they grow and soar.
Can we talk about parenting fears for a moment? W Can we talk about parenting fears for a moment? We all have them but how do we overcome them? Warning – vulnerability time. Inhale. Some of my parenting fears include the following: -Am I doing enough for my child? -Will she turn out okay? -Will she struggle in school or with relationships? (I mean less the first, if you’ve seen her puzzling skills you’d know she is pretty much a genius.) -Will I screw up my child in some way? What fears do you hold deep inside? Just letting them out in the light for a moment can be all it takes to quell them. I’ve been working on overcoming mine by building a strong community of fellow parents around me. I might be a single daddy by choice, but I am not alone. Nanette and I are surrounded by tribe. By surrogate mothers, other single parents, intended parents, couples, extended family and friends. We are so thankful to not walk this journey alone. Lean into your tribe when you need support. Text your friend when you are at your breaking point or overwhelmed by these big life fears and moments. Lastly, stand strong and proud in your love for your child. Your love is enough. You are enough. Everything is going to be okay and today’s investment of time and care will pay dividends in the future for your little ones. Exhale.
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